so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
