i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
