On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
