Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
