Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need to calm my uterus...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
