If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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