Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
