The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
