Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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