Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I cockslap morals
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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