i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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