You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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