I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
