id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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