yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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