well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
