I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize