Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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