Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
