i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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