Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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