also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
