Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
