you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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