i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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