why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's never too late to be topless.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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