He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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