new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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