This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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