is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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