when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
