Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize