please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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