I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
