hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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