She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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