Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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