i need an iv and a liver transplant
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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