On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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