Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
