Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
