Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
