Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
