Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
