Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
