she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
