a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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