I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
