Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
