Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
