if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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