Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
