guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
