The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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