p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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