my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
