His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
