you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
