Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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