you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
