dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize