thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
